Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
time to smoke my breakfast
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
