I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
