Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
