did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
