hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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