If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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