i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
