oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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