I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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