I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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