Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
