So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
