i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
