I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
