would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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