im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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