i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
