you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
