He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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