I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
