Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
