hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I party with great urgency now.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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