i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
