Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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