I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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