mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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