butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
