That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
