are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
