my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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