My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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