Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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