If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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