But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
