it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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