I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
