i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
