Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
