? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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