What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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