Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
