YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
