Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
