she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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