kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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