This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize