Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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