Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
