I hope mine doesn't look like that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
