I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
