did you get engaged???
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
