i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize