I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
