Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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